every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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