It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
