Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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