who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
