Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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