when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize