I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
