she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I cut my penus on the lid.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
