So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize