I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
