whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
