Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Couch. On fire.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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