I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
There r osticjed everywhere
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize