Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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