it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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