I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Drunk is not a location!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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