Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have already put on my inside pants.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
