I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize