There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
