I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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