another moral hangover. fuck.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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