SEEEEXXX PLEASE
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
