i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
