Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
