Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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