dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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