he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
