Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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