My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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