i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
