ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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