so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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