I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
