So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
