I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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