I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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