I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
