i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
