girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
