Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
