can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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