A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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