at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
