another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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