she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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