So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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