Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
