First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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