you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
