think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize