Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
