TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
