now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
