I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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