didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
