anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize