We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
