Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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