shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
