I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I will be naked everywhere
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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