The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
