So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
