im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
