btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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