it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
