as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
