i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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