Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
