I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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