It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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