i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize