Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize