so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Randomize