I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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