so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
